Monthly Archives: April 2015

Have the inmates taken over?

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I was twenty something and a sales manager at a leading business journal. It was a long time ago, but I am pretty sure I was the youngest member of the management team. My Publisher was a very distinguished gentleman who didn’t communicate with me often and when he did, I either felt great or not so great. There really wasn’t any in between. He had a beard and he was always fiddling with it. I think he was super revved up on nicotine most of the time. If you needed him, you would have to locate him on the smoke deck of our mid rise building on 610 Loop. He was a global thinker, a strategist of sorts, and didn’t really have time to discuss minor details. He was a veteran in the publishing business and his experience and success leered over me like a dark cloud of intimidation. Sometimes when I was feeling really smart and vocalizing my ideas, he would pat me on the head. Yes, you heard me right. I am a grown woman, not a puppy, and you are patting me on the head?? It was very humiliating to say the least. I would ponder, “Why did I leave sales where I was a selling machine?” My worth was so definable back then? You sell the most, you earn the most and you are the most respected. PERIOD. Now, I am responsible for the sales of a group. Some of my sales people are motivated and some are not. Those were days where I learned many lessons, even a parenting lesson. I don’t remember exactly what spurred the response, but Mr. K’s reply to me was, “Have the inmates taken over?” He had a way of making you think about things. Had I lost all control over my department? Had I failed as a leader? I decided to take the bull by the horns and LEAD. I was no quitter and they were paying me to run this department.

Since I have been a parent, I have been reminded of that statement often. I remember one time when I had a young girl helping me homeschool the boys a few days a week. She came to me downtrodden one day and said, “Sister Mindi, I don’t know what to do because Dylan will not do his work and keeps telling me to make him snacks.” In other words, the inmate had taken over. LOL. Sure, I could have taken over and disciplined Dylan. However, she would have never been able to lead him, which was my ultimate goal for that season. She needed to take the authority she had been given and not bow down to a six year old. It may seem silly, but how many parents do you see that have no control over their kids? They chalk it up to them being strong willed or wanting them to be a free thinker.

My kids were not born behaving. They were all strong willed in their own way, but that was no license to rebel or act like a fool.

I was in Ross over a year ago. A toddler boy was screaming his lungs out and totally disrespecting his mother. He wanted a toy. This went on for what seemed like an eternity, but in all actuality it was probably twenty minutes. By the time I was at the checkout, I saw the lady and the boy in line. She was buying him a toy… EPIC FAIL!!! It took everything I had not to go take that toy from that boy and say when you learn to behave then you will receive a reward. This mom just made a major mistake. Crying + Fit = Toy. Not in my house….

This may sound harsh to some, but my thought is that God gave you children to mold. Until they are grown, they need ongoing molding and He has trusted you to do it. In the terms of Mr. K, they are your inmates and you should not let them take over. You have to take over and control what they do when they are little. You wouldn’t let them play in traffic, so don’t let them do other things that are harmful to their character. My kids are not in control of our household, of me, or my husband. Children appreciate clearly defined rules. You are not being mean by disciplining them or even spanking them, you are doing them a HUGE favor. They need to learn how to behave as they were not born knowing this. It is not something that will just happen at a magical age. You have to teach, teach, teach and then teach some more! Early on, you must establish respect and authority for both you and your spouse. Never undermine your spouse’s authority in front of your children. We don’t abuse or ask too much, but they do what we ask them to do and it is not up for negotiation.

They must have consequences for their actions, both good and bad. The first few years of parenthood was intense with three little boys, but I have found that if you will be consistent and not give in when they are toddlers then you will mainly just be reinforcing in the years to come and it will make your life so much easier.  Look at this diagram at how a parenting style can affect a child.  I’m not advocating being an authoritarian by any means, but I do believe in being authoritative and supportive. There is a difference.

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As for behaving in church, I remember a time where I was taking the boys out to discipline them and then staying with them in the foyer so that they didn’t continue to disrupt the service. However, the pastor said that the kids wanted to get in trouble so they could go play in the foyer. So, I began either disciplining them right there in the pew or taking them out and then immediately bringing them right back into service. I believe in my kids, so I have always expected a lot out of them. As toddlers, I believed they could learn to sit still in church, be quiet and even learn to praise the Lord. I wasn’t just motivated by making them not disturb other people, but I was training up the next generation of Apostolics and teaching them that we are in the sanctuary of the Most High God.

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Want an accredited high school diploma for your homeschooler?

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Have you imagined that moment? The moment when the Pomp and Circumstance march plays loud overhead and reality hits you like a brick wall. The doors open and all eyes are focused on your baby boy or baby girl, all gussied up in their cap and gown, as they march down the aisle. They entered the room as your prime pupil whom you spearheaded their education, but from this point forward, your role in their education will shift as they move to the next chapter of life.graduation

Aside from feeling like your guts have just been ripped out because your baby is growing up, you want to feel good about this moment. You want to feel like you’ve had all of your ducks in a row so to speak. Every ‘t’ has been crossed and every ‘I’ has been dotted. You did your best and now your little homeschooled darling is the beneficiary.

In homeschooling, there are always a myriad of options, and many of them are based on pure preference. The bottom line is that I am an avid, almost borderline psycho researcher. The purpose behind my sharing is to justify my craziness by saying that I help others as well as my little party of five.

As with anything in life, it is important to have a plan and work the plan. You should be mindful of your education goals for your children from the beginning, of course allowing flexibility for the Lord’s leading along the way. As your student approaches high school or maybe they are already in high school, you may want to consider your options regarding their diploma.

A homeschool parent has every right to create their child’s transcript based on work completed and submit that when they apply for college. I know families who have done this and it has worked fine for them. They took standardized tests such as the ACT or the SAT and they experienced a smooth transition to colleges, such as Texas A & M University. So, by no means should you feel obligated to pursue anything else.

However, if the idea of flying solo on such a major milestone seems scary, then listen up and your family may benefit from choosing the same option as our family.

My quick synopsis of the situation is that in the arena of accredited high school diplomas there are more options than you can envision. We have tried many and researched even more. One option is an online high school that you enroll in and you must use their entire curriculum and the delivery of that curriculum may not be the best. It may be costly and the options for curriculum from a Christian Worldview in a highly engaging format are certainly few if they exist at all. There are also programs like Veritas’ Scholars program that allows you to do a certain number of classes on your own with curriculum approved by Veritas, but you must also take a certain number of required courses through Veritas Press online. Their live online courses, not self-paced, average around $700 per course. In some cases, this is more costly than a college course at an online Christian University. If it is in your budget, then they certainly offer a fine education. Finally, there is this little jewel of a place that I found called Central Christian Academy out of Winterpark, Florida.

Central Christian Academy (CCA) is an accredited member of the Florida Council of Private Schools since 1995. Central Christian Academy offers two main programs. One is where you purchase curriculum through them that has already been pre-approved, or they also offer a program where you can select the curriculum of your choice and submit it to them for pre-approval. I absolutely LOVE the fact that I can choose my favorite curriculum and all I have to do is send them an email with my plan and they email me back approval. It is very easy submitting your work and tests to them. They have been a pleasure to work with and I have found no other program that offers the same credibility and flexibility. For students in high school, they charge $365 per year to keep your child’s official records. It is less for lower grades, but we didn’t feel it was necessary to use such a service for the lower grades. Also, if you refer a friend, then they will credit your family $100. If you would like to sign up for next fall, please use the referral form that I have added to the files section of our Facebook group or you can email me and I will be happy to send it to you. Since my husband is in full-time ministry now, this will be a blessing to our family and I greatly appreciate it! Then feel free to modify this form and pass it on to your friends so you can earn $100 towards your child’s enrollment.

I will be happy to answer any questions that you may have. Also, here is a link to the school’s website if you need more detailed information:

http://acces-inc.com/cca/